Given the circumstance of our beloved Monstrosi-tree, we were asking ourselves all sorts of philosophical questions. What is the meaning of Tree? If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound like the biggest crash you can ever imagine? To tree or not to tree, that is the question.

Getting Monstrosi-tree into the house was no small production. Heavy, prickly, and unwieldy, moving it from the ground where it had landed, into its stand, and then to the front steps was an exercise in exercise. Heavy breathing. Deep breathing. Even no breathing, as we hoisted it along the front yard.

Once inside, standing up our giant was a tall task. The more we set it upright, the more it slid across our floor. We had high hopes that the hefty stand we used for so many years would stay true to form and keep the tree intact.

Good progress was made on the decorating front. While Johnny Mathis sang quintessential Christmas, my husband carefully arranged the lights, gingerly leaning from a pub chair. My oldest hung ornaments up. My youngest took them down. Later, my sitting baby, wrapped in a spool of ribbon, was pulled backwards like a pint-sized sled, fishtailing and giggling around the floor.

Our decorated tree was so spectacular to us, that on the first night my oldest asked to sleep nearby so she could watch the lights. This same night, one of the ribbons, draped from the top of the tree, mysteriously disappeared. The morning that followed my oldest indicated that she had acted like TinkerBell and slept under the tree.

She was a tinker all right.

The red scarf was askance.
Some ornaments were missing.
A red potato was stuffed
in the toe of a stocking.

And then came that day.

My family was eating dinner contentedly, enjoying the anticipation of the approaching season.

Until suddenly there arose such a crash
we ran to the evergreen to see what was the matter.
And there in the forest of our home
was a grimly grim sight to behold.

Our beloved Monstrosi-tree was fir first on the floor!

The lights hung lopsided,
the ornaments were flung.
The ribbons long missing.
Our Christmas tree was gone!

We will prettify Monstross again, don’t you fear.
And we will never forget moments such as these this year!


Content originally written and published by ClunkyShoe December 17, 2010.  The third story in a series of three.  Perhaps a sequel is on its way?